June 4, 2026
At any given moment, most of us are thinking. We think about the past, the future, the hypothetical; we think about what others are thinking; we think about what we should have done, what they should do, whether this is good or that is bad. This thinking is so constant that it’s easy not to notice it at all, like water to a fish. Don’t get me wrong: Thinking is incredibly useful, and has certainly been crucial in our survival and evolutionary success as a species. The problem is that the tool has become the master; our minds are overactive to the point of harming the host, not unlike the uncontrolled growth of cancer. Belgian artist René Magritte once painted a tobacco pipe with the phrase Ceci n’est pas une pipe underneath: This is not a pipe. Which, of course, it wasn’t. A representation of a thing is not the thing itself. When we mistake our stories about reality for reality itself, we interact only with the 2D version in our heads, always one step removed from the real thing.
Many of our thoughts revolve around time, specifically the scarcity of it. We are constantly rushing to be ready for the next moment, the impending future like a threat we have to arm ourselves against before it’s too late. This scarcity is rooted in our shared idea of time as a resource – something you could save or lose, spend wisely or waste, have enough of or run out of. It creates pressure to “use” time efficiently, so we try to do more and more in less and less time. Ironically, trying to save time seems to leave us with a greater sense of lacking it.
When we do wind up with extra time, we often don’t know what to do with it, so stuck in the mode of thinking and doing that we no longer have access to being. Having worked so hard to “save” time, we then “spend” it by doomscrolling, ruminating, or turning on the TV to turn off our minds. Similarly, when we arrive at the future we’ve been preparing for, our attention is then on the next moment, reducing our capacity and awareness of this one. I call this tunnel time: a state where your awareness is confined to a mental tunnel rushing you towards the future while still catching your breath from the past, the present merely a footnote along the way. Instead of fully experiencing the moment you’re in, the only moment you ever have, your mind keeps you constantly occupied with a future you’ll never arrive to.
It’s not easy to turn off this thought filter. Our thinking has momentum; the brain does not know how to take a vacation. This is where mindfulness comes in. By intentionally watching your mind, you can develop a gap between your thoughts and the “you” that experiences them. This observer perspective is central to many meditation practices, noticing thoughts arise and letting them go without taking the bait. You can’t control who knocks on the door, but you don’t have to invite every thought to dinner. It takes time to build this mental muscle, but once you can distinguish between your thoughts and reality, you can come into direct contact with the present moment.
You may notice that children seem to have much easier access to presence, interacting honestly (sometimes embarrassingly so) with what they observe, unfiltered by thoughts of moral judgments, worry, or self-consciousness. Being around children – or nature, or animals – can bring back that presence in you as well. This is not a process of learning, but of unlearning, turning off autopilot. Instead of rushing through the time tunnel, you can be here now in the three-dimensional present. Memories, plans, and value-aligned choices still exist, but they are simply another part of your present moment, rather than taking you out of it.
This direct contact with reality is how we step out of the mental chatter, because while overthinking removes us from presence, tuning directly into your nervous system, sensory input, and thoughts opens up a true sense of agency in the now. When your boss is micro-managing you, or your kid is throwing a temper tantrum, or your to-do list stretches to the end of time, your thoughts will automatically jump to how you can eliminate the stressor, assuming your well-being depends on what’s happening externally. But in fact, life circumstances only account for around 10% of our happiness; our primary influence is through intentional activities and thought patterns. As this awareness develops, you can shift from reacting to intentionally responding – regulating your stress in real-time, staying grounded from the inside, and remaining in touch with the being underneath the doing and the thinking. It won’t change your boss, calm down your kid, or evaporate your to-do list, but it allows you to cooperate with reality from an internal peace stable enough to withstand a changing world.
And the only time you can learn to do that is now.
If you’re interested in learning how to slow down and be present instead of rushing toward the next moment, join therapists Mallory and Miranda for our Mid-week Mindfulness group where we’ll learn how to tune into our experience and reset our nervous systems. This 8-week group meets every Wednesday starting July 1st.
Using Jon Kabat-Zinn’s Wherever You Go, There You Are as our framework, we will explore:
Accessing presence by moving from doing mode to being mode.
Becoming aware of racing thoughts and internal sensations and developing the capacity to sit with discomfort and overwhelm
Building a concrete toolkit of grounding exercises, breathwork, and body scans to anchor you in everyday life
[Click here to learn more and secure your spot for July!]
Want to experience what the group will be like before committing? Join us on Wednesday, June 17th for a FREE intro workshop. It’s the perfect opportunity to experience a practice firsthand, meet the facilitators, and get answers to any questions you have.
No prior meditation experience is necessary, just a willingness to stop passing the time and start being here now!
If you’re interested in joining the workshop, email mmurphy@andersonville.com.